Adulthood. Where’d I rest down that damn manual? And who do you call once it’s lost? I lost the manual for my cable box once and a delightful customer service rep walked me through the set up. Is there a 1-800-DAMN-I’M-AN-ADULT hotline or something? I mean there has to be, right?
There are all these people out here making it look easy. They knew exactly when to set up payment plans for their school loans; I have a crush-my-life-letter sitting on the kitchen table with my name on it. They knew how to save; I have $25 in my rainy day account and a whopping $0.83 in my checking—I’m rich, B*tch!
All jokes aside, when did I miss the adult memo? Where’s my handbook? Is there an Obi Wan Kenobi for this [stuff] and I missed my turn to meet him? Was I absent from school that day?
I don’t know when this adult thing happened. I [do] know it was somewhere between losing my virginity and getting my first apartment. Everyday can feel like a new failure or adventure depending on your perspective or quite frankly, mine.
One day I’m prayed up and zenned out and the next I’m frustrated, pissed, depressed and wondering if anyone else out there is feeling what I’m feeling. The other day a bank that shall remain nameless closed my auxiliary account without warning for inactivity. When I attempted to open a new account, I was informed that my credit score is too low to open a checking account. Who knew the bank could refuse to hold and use your money? Can you say embarrassed?! Do these things happen to “adults?”
Can I surrender my membership to this club? It’s not fun!
The Storyteller Chronicles are a random collection of anonymous narratives told by the women who are usually charged with telling other women’s stories here on The Common Ground Chronicles. It is our way of giving you a glimpse of who we are and what makes us tick. Check out the last chronicle, “The Storyteller Chronicles:What a Waste of an Outfit!- Revelations from the Third World” if you missed it; and, scroll to the bottom of the page and click The Storyteller Chronicles category or tag to read all of the pieces in this series.
If you find the manual, please make me a copy. I desperately need it.